Have you lived your life yet?

They looked into her eyes, as she seemed lifeless. She lay there knowing not where was she or what she was doing. All she could see was people looking at her and telling her things. She wasn't sure what it was they were talking, she wasn't sure if they were talking to her, or about her. There seemed to be panic in the air. This is not how she had imagined life to end, this is not how she wanted it to end. Amidst all the pain and fear she clenched her weak fist, hoping the pain on her hand could divert her from the other pain. The pain from the wounds didn't make a difference to her as much as the one in her heart was. "I have so much more to do in life, so much more to see" she thought. "Not today God, please not today" she prayed, but God seemed to have other plans.
     
She prayed desperately hoping one last prayer would make God change His mind but she knew in the back of her mind that this was it. Suddenly the life she lived was boiling down to nothing. She would soon just be a part of statistics on people dying in road rash. A feeling of emptiness filled her. The world slowed down. 

She thought of her people at home. She remembered how rude she had been to her mother that morning as she was getting late to office but the old woman insisted on her having breakfast before leaving. "I did not even get a chance to say the last good bye" she thought as her eyes filled up. "Had I waited back and listened to her, I would not have probably been here this way." For a change she blamed herself. All her childhood memories came flowing back to her mind and she smiled. The smile didn't last long though. With childhood memories came the memories of the later times when she took off all her frustration on her Mom. "I should have been more nice to her, and now I'm never going to get a chance to tell her that I really do love her. I was so busy living life that I forgot she is growing old too." Tears fell down her eyes. People watching her pitied her thinking of the pain she was going through. They had no idea of what that pain really was. "I should have listened to Dad, I should have rode slowly" she thought and cursed herself for all the times she got pissed off at him for being overprotective. "I don't want to leave" she squealed with the little energy she had left in her. Nobody could listen, but even if they could, they couldn't help anyway.The world seemed to become a little slower now. Had her life become so worthless? She wondered. "I haven't seen life yet", she cried to herself. She wasn't crying for not having seen life, she cried for not having seen life when she had the chance to. "I'll text him later" she remembered the words she said to herself last night when her friend, now in another city texted her saying he missed her.The pain of not getting the chance to let her friend know that she missed him killed her inside. "I should have replied right then" she thought. Ironic, he was going to miss her again and sadly forever. It was time for her to go, but she wasn't prepared. A hundred things in her list remained undone, but what saddened her more was the fact that they were not done by her when she had the chance to. From long she had wanted to pursue writing as a career. But her well paying corporate job that tuned her into a robot, did not let her get out of her comfort zone. Life turned into a repetitive wait for weekends and salary day. She complained to her friends of how she wanted to be a writer but is instead stuck in a 9 to 5 job. "Then quit" her friends used to say. "I don't know where to start from, I cannot just quit. What if i end up sitting at home with no means to earn at all?" she used to argue, rather make excuses. Comfort zone was not an easy place to bid goodbye to.
    
She regretted not giving herself a chance. She wanted to make it big in life but was waiting for the right time to come along. She regretted not having made "Now" the right time when she could. Now she would only end up being a piece of news in a local newspaper. "Did I live all these years to end up this way"? She hated this feeling. She hated it. "Please let this be a dream" she cried. She couldn't see people around anymore. They were still around but she was now caged in a world of solitude and regret. Life flashed before her eyes as she thought of all the times she weeped her eyes out for the wrong guy not realising how special she herself was. 

She regretted the times she said life sucked. Given a chance, she would live it all over again, just a lot better this time. A second chance was all she wanted, but that was the only thing that she would never get. The only thing, that was about to deprive her of everything! She thought of all the times she let go of a chance  thinking "Next time."

Somebody shook her, or so she felt. She wasn't sure, for she couldn't feel anything anymore. She thought of all the times she did not feel the breeze on her face because she was too busy texting someone. Somebody poured water on her face, or so she felt. She thought of all the times she walked in the rain with her thoughts elsewhere. "When did i ever live in the moment?" She felt helpless now. "I was either too stuck in the past or too hopeful about the future". She broke down, crying as hard as she could, but she wasn't able to feel  that either now. The only thing that she was now able to feel were her regrets, and slowly with her last breath that disappeared too.
 
People looked down and sighed on seeing a life end on the middle of the road. She breathed her last with regrets!

----

"Her hands moved"! She heard someone screaming. And there was silence again. "Hurry up!" she heard a new voice instructing somebody else. She opened her eyes slowly to see familiar and new faces both, looking at her like a new born baby. Her head still hurt. Tears welled up her eyes, as they did in the eyes of everyone around her. "I am alive" she mumbled through the pain, both physical and emotional. "You are baby" her mom said as she hugged her, carefully enough to not hurt her. Through her tears she saw them all, her dad, the friend who was yet to receive her text and other friends. "She's out of danger" said the new voice, the doctor's. More tears rolled down her cheeks through the bruises on her face. "So my last breath wasn't my last after all" she thought. She suddenly felt blessed than ever before despite the broken limbs and a plastered head. Life did give her a chance after all when she least expected it. "I wont let you down" she promised herself, she promised life! She raised her hand slowly. Her parents leaned forward to hear what she tried to mumble. 

"What can we get you?" they asked. 

"I love you, And wont ever let you feel otherwise" she said "And you" she pointed her shivering fingers at her friend "I missed you a lot" . They smiled in surprise and confusion, but most of all, they smiled in joy. 

"Now can someone please type me a resignation  letter?" she said hiding a smile.
 

She could be you! Still waiting for the right time to live life?

      

A Woman's Letter To The Indian Society

Dear Society,

How are you doing? I am assuming, not quite well, since every time I hear of you, I hear you being too concerned about other's business. That should be a tough job indeed, to keep a track of people's lives without being invited to do so. Mom says, "we live in a society and are expected to behave in a certain way". I couldn't agree more, but somehow I sense more of fear in that sentence, than inbuilt responsibility of self conduct.

Frankly, I would love to see a world where people get to live their own lives and do things simply because they want to do it, or its the right thing to do, and not because "you" think it is the right thing to do. So dear society, could you please define the word "right" for me? I am having a tough time understanding the same, because what seems right to some part of your section, does not seem so to the other part. Lets hover over some common things just to clear this out, shall we?

You say, its not a good thing for a woman to be hanging out late in the night. So dear society, does the time of the day when a woman hangs out, decide the nature of her character? I somehow fail to understand the connection. I've often heard the term "Women shouldn't hang out late in the night because it's not safe". Now my question is, who makes it unsafe for them? I am assuming your answer will be those men who seem to have no respect for women. Then shouldn't the rule be the other way round, that "Men who dont respect women, and cannot act like civilised human beings should stay at home"?

Also, I often see you being judgmental about us, depending on the clothes we wear. May I please take the liberty of questioning how is it that how we chose to cover our own bodies, effect your perception about us? I have never seen you giving a second look to "men in western or shorter clothes" but somehow when it comes to us women, you don't tend to approve much of it. Dear society, why is it so difficult for you to understand that women chose what to wear depending on their idea of fashion and comfort and nothing more. If clothes were a reflection of character, all women in Indian wear would be saints and all the ones in western wear would be just the opposite. But you and I both know, that' s not true. We are old enough to have witnessed history where a woman in Indian wear has killed the prime minister of the same country, where years later women in skirts and shorts have gone ahead to bring olympic medals to the country. I personally know of home breakers dressed up in Indian wear and dignified responsible women in shorts. When is it that you are going to ask men, to learn to respect a woman for what she is and not what she wears? Shouldn't you be teaching some men ( I repeat "some men", I am not generalising like you do) that women dont "ask for it" by the clothes they wear, but it is their own dirty minds that is interpreting. Oh, by the way, women completely covered from head to toe will also complain about being inappropriately stared at or dealt with. So who is at fault here? When a woman is wearing something, she is simply wearing it because she wants to wear it. Shouldn't you move beyond your concept of judging women by the clothes they wear, by now?

Now, moving over to another topic that I need an answer to. Why do you seem to have  a problem with us bonding with men who are not our husband/boyfriend, father or brother. Aren't you old enough to understand that a man and a woman can just be friends too. A woman hangs out with a friend, and you jump out of your seat to judge her. May i know why? While we truly understand the lines to be drawn with every different relationship, why is it that you don't draw a line to your imaginations and judgement?  We women, are often matured enough to know our limits and lines, but where will you draw the line dear society? When will you learn to let a woman breathe and live her life and not judge her knowing nothing about the shoes she is in.

Oh! And then there seems to be this strange obsession you have with unmarried women who have crossed a certain age. As if living alone, facing your hypocrisy is not enough, you seem to be ruthlessly interested in their lives. Shouldn't you be applauding them for their strength to be living life on their own? Or may be it is your fault, that you could not raise men who were precious enough to deserve such strong wonderful women. Then with what right do you seem so interested in when will they get married? Dear society, grow up and give them the freedom to chose what they want for themselves.

I could go on and on about this, but I will stop here. Because a voice echoes in my head "No matter what you do or what you don't, the society will talk". No matter how many lines we draw or how many sacrifices we make, you still will tend to judge us. So dear society, please save this letter and go through it every time someone among you raises a finger on a woman. We may not be right always, but we aren't wrong always either!

Regards,
A woman!

The joy of little things :)

I smile to myself as I type this, as I think of all the little things that make me happy, from bike rides, to rain to spending quality time with friends to random surprises that I give or get. After a certain age, we tend to get so busy searching for the meaning of life or dealing with complex situations, we tend to ignore the little things that life has to offer.

For once stop worrying about your financial planning for the month and spend that change in your wallet in buying chocolates for random kids that you may end up meeting on the road. Go get drenched in the rain instead of complaining about the weather. Smile at a stranger, try being nice to the autowala (going by experience a little nice behaviour might even work in your favour while trying to bargain). Dont crib about how bad your day has been at work, instead roll down the cab's window and let the wind caress your face and tell you "its okay if the day was bad, the best part about it, is that its over now". Instead of breaking your head over what high priced fancy gifts to buy, try surprising your guy or girl by ending up meeting them when they least expected to see you, what could be more precious than you to them after all? ;) Let petrol prices reach the sky, chose another day to crib about the government but for now, ditch that car and try walking after sunset for some time. Laugh at the silliest joke. Go meet a friend who is always busy, and cherish the little time you get to spend together instead of cribbing about how you did not get enough time. Look at your pet and feel blessed to be selflessly loved by a being (cat owners this is not for you :P ), let a bad sunny day be your excuse for bunking office and jumping into a pool. Buy yourself some flowers, who else can better pamper you than your own self? Stare at the sky and play that game of imagining the cloud turning into various shapes. Go ride a kid's bicycle and fall, ride again and fall again!

They say, you dont ever grow up, you just learn to act in public. While that may or may not be completely true, we can always carry forward the joy of finding happiness in little things like we used to when homework was the only worry in life. Instead of planning for a happier future which will have big things to offer, try finding joy in the little things in present.

There is just so much that life has to offer! When you are too busy trying to find happiness, life is sending you joy in various ways, big and small. Happiness isn't a treasure that u got to go search for, its more like a state of mind. Something that lies within. Even in your worse days, the very fact that you are alive goes on to show that you are alive to see a better life ahead. So hold your head up high and welcome the little things life sends your way, smile at life, and watch how it smiles back at you!

Go ahead! Take that step!

How often have you delayed a step, an action that you wanted to take? "I will do this tomorrow", "Just not in a mood to do it today", "What difference will it make if I do it later and not today". Do these words sound familiar? To me it does, and you would be lying to yourself, if you say it doesnt to  you. For we all are humans, and often find ourselves in places that are not very comfortable to be in. It could be dealing with a failed promise to yourself that you will start making efforts to lose that holiday weight, or QUIT smoking AGAIN (pun intended), wanting to move out of a painful relationship, or just the opposite that is wanting to express your love to someone yet not being able to, letting someone know how you feel, or be it an old hobby that you want to get back to. We often have the tendency of getting too comfortable in our comfort levels, so much, that we often stop ourselves from taking that step that we know is going to make us happy.

 It feels nice to stay in your comfort zone, even if it means having to deal with feelings of guilt, laziness, pain, confusion, curiosity because at the end of the day you have a cushion to fall back to. There always seems to be something that pulls you back when you think of taking a big step; could be laziness, or the fear of the unknown, the fear of the future or just plain fear of taking a risk. But like a recent picture that I saw on FB says, Happiness does not come to those who wait but to those who work their ass off for it! Nothing in this world is permanent. For all you know you may not be alive the very next moment. Tomorrow may be a fancy word to convince yourself  but you never know if tomorrow is a day that you will live to see. The step that you take tomorrow will not have the same effect that it will have today. You are losing your precious day planning about something that you say you will do. Stop the whole planning and just go do it! Go tell that person you are madly n love with them, start gymming if you want a healthier body, get out of that relationship if you cant take the pain anymore, throw that cigarette butt forever and let it be the last forever you have promised yourself, go for the vacation that you have been delaying, go take a break, start that hobby again before it seems like an aliens hobby and not yours. There are going to be a thousand voices in your head that will tell you to stay back in your comfort zone, there will be people to give you  the wrong advise, there will be excuses you would want to make, but move over these trivial things that are stopping you from taking that step. Go ahead! Take that step! Its going to be wonderful, and if it is not, its going to be  worth the effort. You will never know if you dont try :)

Believe!

BELIEVE! Believe in things..in little and big ones too. Believe in faith, believe  in fate, believe in YOU!

For all that happens, happens for the best.

Life in itself is a box of surprises, and while a few may be pleasant, few aren't, but BELIEVE!

Believe they are all blessings in disguise, believe there is light ahead waiting to make you smile.

Believe a day will come when you'l turn bak and say "It was all worth this joy"

Believe in the immense luck you hold, believe in the person within who drives you to work harder. BELIEVE!

Believe a SPECIAL person like you, will never have a life less special :)

BELIEVE!