Let’s teach our sons better

I am a feminist. No, I don't hate men and I don’t think women are superior to men. I'm not against women dressing up and looking good. You won't find me protesting against beauty pageants because it objectifies women, just as you won't find me talking against men's pageants either. I'm a firm believer in people holding the freedom to make their own choices. I believe women and men are equal, none lesser or greater than the other and that's why I sigh every time I see the need for women to protect themselves. I'm not saying violence and harassment against men dont exist. It sure does, and is sadly often hidden behind the tough exterior men are forced to put up. Being a woman though, I find myself better equipped to speak about us.

They say you can't change the world in a day. I say you can at least give it a try. I wake up every morning to news of dowry deaths and sexual harassment against women. Candle light marches happen, debates on news channels raking TRPs happen. We contemplate the alarming need for attention to the issue at large, point fingers, sympathize and move on eventually, only to find similar news in the papers again. Sure, we can't all stop our lives with an incident and be stuck with it. We can however, add a drop in the ocean of change that's been waiting to take form. Big changes begin with the smallest steps. What we teach our young ones today, will help create a better world tomorrow.

To build a world where our daughters don't need saving, let’s teach our sons better. When we talk of the length of a girl's skirt or the depth of her neckline, let’s teach our sons that it doesn't define her character. Let’s teach them, that it's what a person is and does that make her, not what she wears. If clothes defined character, we could all buy some in the stores for a price, but it doesn't. The clothes we wear are forms of our expression of self, not the scale against which our character be judged. Let’s teach our sons, that when a woman says no, she simply means no. Let’s teach them to give women the freedom of their choice. Let's teach them to respect their opinion. There are many men out there, who make their own interpretations of a woman's behavior. Let's teach our sons better. Let's teach them that a girl being being friendly, isn't giving hints. She doesn't become a bitch when she rejects his proposal. A woman with a drink and smoke in her hand, is as good or bad as a man doing the same. A woman who chooses to live life her way, is doing what exactly the men are doing, living the same life that they were given too. Let’s teach our sons that raising hand on a woman doesn’t depict strength, it’s the extreme opposite instead. When they grow up into fine young men, let's teach them the difference between complimenting and catcalling. Let's teach them the difference between pursuing and harassing. Let's teach them the difference between assuming what a woman wants and asking what she does. When your son sees his mother in he kitchen, let him know that she does it out of love and choice, and that there's no shame in him sharing the load when he grows up. Let’s teach our sons that women don't belong in the kitchen, they choose to go there, just like they can too. Let's teach our sons to give women the freedom to make friends irrespective of gender, without being judged. Let's teach our sons to stand up for the girls they know, when they hear rumours from jilted lovers and rejected suitors. Beauty is only skin deep. Let her beauty not be limited to how skinny or curvy she is. Teach them to look for the beauty within. Let's teach them that it's not okay to assume women are the weaker sex.

Let’s create more open minds and bigger hearts. Let’s teach them to help build a world where both sons and daughters have the same freedom to make the most of their lives.

Kudos to all the amazing parents who've done, and been doing this in their own little ways. You, are making this world a better place. Let’s build a world where our sons are brought up so well, that our daughters aren't asked to come back home before it gets dark, because it's not safe out there.