Dear Society,
How are you doing? I am assuming, not quite well, since every time I hear of you, I hear you being too concerned about other's business. That should be a tough job indeed, to keep a track of people's lives without being invited to do so. Mom says, "we live in a society and are expected to behave in a certain way". I couldn't agree more, but somehow I sense more of fear in that sentence, than inbuilt responsibility of self conduct.
Frankly, I would love to see a world where people get to live their own lives and do things simply because they want to do it, or its the right thing to do, and not because "you" think it is the right thing to do. So dear society, could you please define the word "right" for me? I am having a tough time understanding the same, because what seems right to some part of your section, does not seem so to the other part. Lets hover over some common things just to clear this out, shall we?
You say, its not a good thing for a woman to be hanging out late in the night. So dear society, does the time of the day when a woman hangs out, decide the nature of her character? I somehow fail to understand the connection. I've often heard the term "Women shouldn't hang out late in the night because it's not safe". Now my question is, who makes it unsafe for them? I am assuming your answer will be those men who seem to have no respect for women. Then shouldn't the rule be the other way round, that "Men who dont respect women, and cannot act like civilised human beings should stay at home"?
Also, I often see you being judgmental about us, depending on the clothes we wear. May I please take the liberty of questioning how is it that how we chose to cover our own bodies, effect your perception about us? I have never seen you giving a second look to "men in western or shorter clothes" but somehow when it comes to us women, you don't tend to approve much of it. Dear society, why is it so difficult for you to understand that women chose what to wear depending on their idea of fashion and comfort and nothing more. If clothes were a reflection of character, all women in Indian wear would be saints and all the ones in western wear would be just the opposite. But you and I both know, that' s not true. We are old enough to have witnessed history where a woman in Indian wear has killed the prime minister of the same country, where years later women in skirts and shorts have gone ahead to bring olympic medals to the country. I personally know of home breakers dressed up in Indian wear and dignified responsible women in shorts. When is it that you are going to ask men, to learn to respect a woman for what she is and not what she wears? Shouldn't you be teaching some men ( I repeat "some men", I am not generalising like you do) that women dont "ask for it" by the clothes they wear, but it is their own dirty minds that is interpreting. Oh, by the way, women completely covered from head to toe will also complain about being inappropriately stared at or dealt with. So who is at fault here? When a woman is wearing something, she is simply wearing it because she wants to wear it. Shouldn't you move beyond your concept of judging women by the clothes they wear, by now?
Now, moving over to another topic that I need an answer to. Why do you seem to have a problem with us bonding with men who are not our husband/boyfriend, father or brother. Aren't you old enough to understand that a man and a woman can just be friends too. A woman hangs out with a friend, and you jump out of your seat to judge her. May i know why? While we truly understand the lines to be drawn with every different relationship, why is it that you don't draw a line to your imaginations and judgement? We women, are often matured enough to know our limits and lines, but where will you draw the line dear society? When will you learn to let a woman breathe and live her life and not judge her knowing nothing about the shoes she is in.
Oh! And then there seems to be this strange obsession you have with unmarried women who have crossed a certain age. As if living alone, facing your hypocrisy is not enough, you seem to be ruthlessly interested in their lives. Shouldn't you be applauding them for their strength to be living life on their own? Or may be it is your fault, that you could not raise men who were precious enough to deserve such strong wonderful women. Then with what right do you seem so interested in when will they get married? Dear society, grow up and give them the freedom to chose what they want for themselves.
I could go on and on about this, but I will stop here. Because a voice echoes in my head "No matter what you do or what you don't, the society will talk". No matter how many lines we draw or how many sacrifices we make, you still will tend to judge us. So dear society, please save this letter and go through it every time someone among you raises a finger on a woman. We may not be right always, but we aren't wrong always either!
Regards,
A woman!
How are you doing? I am assuming, not quite well, since every time I hear of you, I hear you being too concerned about other's business. That should be a tough job indeed, to keep a track of people's lives without being invited to do so. Mom says, "we live in a society and are expected to behave in a certain way". I couldn't agree more, but somehow I sense more of fear in that sentence, than inbuilt responsibility of self conduct.
Frankly, I would love to see a world where people get to live their own lives and do things simply because they want to do it, or its the right thing to do, and not because "you" think it is the right thing to do. So dear society, could you please define the word "right" for me? I am having a tough time understanding the same, because what seems right to some part of your section, does not seem so to the other part. Lets hover over some common things just to clear this out, shall we?
You say, its not a good thing for a woman to be hanging out late in the night. So dear society, does the time of the day when a woman hangs out, decide the nature of her character? I somehow fail to understand the connection. I've often heard the term "Women shouldn't hang out late in the night because it's not safe". Now my question is, who makes it unsafe for them? I am assuming your answer will be those men who seem to have no respect for women. Then shouldn't the rule be the other way round, that "Men who dont respect women, and cannot act like civilised human beings should stay at home"?
Also, I often see you being judgmental about us, depending on the clothes we wear. May I please take the liberty of questioning how is it that how we chose to cover our own bodies, effect your perception about us? I have never seen you giving a second look to "men in western or shorter clothes" but somehow when it comes to us women, you don't tend to approve much of it. Dear society, why is it so difficult for you to understand that women chose what to wear depending on their idea of fashion and comfort and nothing more. If clothes were a reflection of character, all women in Indian wear would be saints and all the ones in western wear would be just the opposite. But you and I both know, that' s not true. We are old enough to have witnessed history where a woman in Indian wear has killed the prime minister of the same country, where years later women in skirts and shorts have gone ahead to bring olympic medals to the country. I personally know of home breakers dressed up in Indian wear and dignified responsible women in shorts. When is it that you are going to ask men, to learn to respect a woman for what she is and not what she wears? Shouldn't you be teaching some men ( I repeat "some men", I am not generalising like you do) that women dont "ask for it" by the clothes they wear, but it is their own dirty minds that is interpreting. Oh, by the way, women completely covered from head to toe will also complain about being inappropriately stared at or dealt with. So who is at fault here? When a woman is wearing something, she is simply wearing it because she wants to wear it. Shouldn't you move beyond your concept of judging women by the clothes they wear, by now?
Now, moving over to another topic that I need an answer to. Why do you seem to have a problem with us bonding with men who are not our husband/boyfriend, father or brother. Aren't you old enough to understand that a man and a woman can just be friends too. A woman hangs out with a friend, and you jump out of your seat to judge her. May i know why? While we truly understand the lines to be drawn with every different relationship, why is it that you don't draw a line to your imaginations and judgement? We women, are often matured enough to know our limits and lines, but where will you draw the line dear society? When will you learn to let a woman breathe and live her life and not judge her knowing nothing about the shoes she is in.
Oh! And then there seems to be this strange obsession you have with unmarried women who have crossed a certain age. As if living alone, facing your hypocrisy is not enough, you seem to be ruthlessly interested in their lives. Shouldn't you be applauding them for their strength to be living life on their own? Or may be it is your fault, that you could not raise men who were precious enough to deserve such strong wonderful women. Then with what right do you seem so interested in when will they get married? Dear society, grow up and give them the freedom to chose what they want for themselves.
I could go on and on about this, but I will stop here. Because a voice echoes in my head "No matter what you do or what you don't, the society will talk". No matter how many lines we draw or how many sacrifices we make, you still will tend to judge us. So dear society, please save this letter and go through it every time someone among you raises a finger on a woman. We may not be right always, but we aren't wrong always either!
Regards,
A woman!
1 comment:
Like that question of bonding with men. I suppose it is how a boy / girl is brought up that sets his/her mind about things taboo in the society and later on carry on these thoughts when they are adult (sometimes unknowingly passing on the same thought process to their offspings)
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