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Wednesday, September 21, 2016

Enough with the judging already!





Don't judge a book by its cover. I say don't judge a book at all!

Five minutes! Five minutes without my earphones is all it took for me to come to a startling realisation of what a judgmental world we live in! It may be too late a realisation you may say, considering how every step you take, every word you speak in the world outside turns into an invitation to judge who you are. I turned down the music playing in my ears for reasons unknown, when I heard two people ramble about people's lives. From a neighbor's eating habits, to another's choice of dressing, from a boy's work ethics to another's relationship problems, they seemed to have an opinion on every thing! It surprises me how we think we have the right to comment on people's lives, their choices and their ways. What is wrong with us, and I use the term 'us' because lets admit it, we have all judged someone at some point in time, without knowing much about the person. Even if we did know the person, what experts are we in our own lives to think we hold a place over others to look down and judge them?

Have you never judged someone by their dress sense simply because it didn't match your taste? How many times have you decided that someone at work who makes jokes all the time isn't serious about their work or life? You must be guilty of passing a comment on someone's life based on the quotes or pictures they post on facebook. I know I am! Did you ever term someone as boring just because they don't drink or someone wasting their life away just because they drink too much? Within the first few seconds of meeting someone, we already assume a picture of the person, only to be proved wrong later, many at times. A colleague who makes no effort to join the others for an outing is immediately termed as a spoilsport. She may just prefer spending the same time with her family. Someone who cries all the time is immediately dismissed as a cry baby, how do we know they haven't been strong enough for too long and given up now? We are quick to associate bad parenting with stubborn children. Have we ever stepped into their shoes and spent sleepless nights wondering what else they could do right to discipline their child?

Snap! And we judge people from the way they talk to the way they walk, from the way they look to the choices they make! Take a moment and imagine being conscious of all the judgement coming across your way. It's a sad truth that we are all being judged at any given time. We may not be able to escape what's thrown across our way, but the least we can do is to stop being the same people that we are trying to run away from. We are all different from each other and live equally different lives. Like an iceberg, you only see ten percent of a person from what they prefer to show you or what we prefer to see. There's so much more to people than our opinions about them. Let's try and filter our eyes to see the good in people and ignore the bad. None of us are perfect! Let people be the judge of their own lives, let's use the energy we spend to judge people, on something more fruitful, like seeing the good in them or seeing nothing at all. It will still be a better choice than jumping to conclusions about the person. Better yet, use the energy  on yourself to bring about a fruitful change in your life. You may think judging someone doesn't directly affect a person but how can you be sure your vibes haven't reached the person you're judging? Would you ever want the same for yourself?

The next time you find an urge to judge someone, stop yourself! When you see a person or hear a story, try and do just that. See! Listen! Please don't go beyond their presence or their words and decide how they should look or how they should be leading their lives. We are all struggling in a world full of unexpected surprises dealing with whatever life hands us. We are all heroes of our own lives. Let's not decide someone else's battle is easier than ours.

The world is a tough place already. Lets be kinder to each other. 

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