27 Life Lessons

1. Love yourself first. Life is a thousand times easier and better, when you fall in love with your own self first.
 
 2. Tea is always the answer. Sad? Sip some tea. Depressed? Sip some tea. Confused? Sip some tea. Angry? Make some tea and watch it boil your anger away, then of course, sip some tea.
 
 3. Save. Despite how difficult or annoying it seems, it's absolutely important to save some for a rainy day no matter what kind of personal cushion you have to fall back on. 
 
 4. Independence is sexy. Mental, Emotional, Financial and Social. An independent woman can take on the world.
 
 5. Cherish the simple joys of life. You're blessed to be able to experience them.
 
 6. You loose friends as you grow up, and it’s a good thing. It's your life's way of filtering the best out for you. With age, you only want the ones that truly care, around you, anyway.
 
 7. Happiness doesnt have to be an occurance, it can be your state of mind, only if you choose to. Being happy need not be associated with an event, it can be an everyday affair, when you learn to accept that you truly deserve to be happy.
 
 8. Your skin and body need your attention. They don't just get in their best form without being attended to.
 
 9. Karma is not always a bitch. Or it is, depending on the action. Be good, good will come back to you. Be bad, worse will come back to you. The same goes with the ones that wrong you. Don't waste your time brooding over who did what. Karma is watching, they'll get served too.
 
 10. You don't need so many clothes, you just need the right ones. Piling up clothes in your closet only to stick with a few is an absolute waste of money and space. Don't spend on your clothes, invest in them.
 
 11. Never compare. You're blessed to have what you have, and there are thousands out there who dream of a life like yours. Be happy with what you have, while working for what you don’t.
 
 12. There is no such thing as entitlement. You don't deserve to get things out of luck and destiny. Want something, work for it. Even the rich and famous work hard to retain what they have.
 
 13. Love should be your strength, not your weakness. It shouldn't define you, it sure should enhance you though.
 
 14. Regrets are a waste of time and energy. At one point it was exactly what you wanted, why else would you have made a mistake? Every mistake is a lesson in disguise.
 
 15. The beach has magic. How else do you explain the bliss rushing water on your feet brings?
 
 16. Life is difficult for an empath. You tend to put yourself in someone else's shoes, walk a bit in it trying to understand their pain and sorrow, and soon forget they aren't even your shoes and end up feeling bad. Learn to detach.
 
 17. Old people need your time and attention. Be kind to old people, it must not be easy to have been young and independent once and reach a dependent, helpless stage now. A few kind words and attention wont cost a thing to you, but can mean the world to them.
 
 18. Push yourself out of the comfort zone. There is nothing more evil than comfort zone. You got to push yourself out of it, to see the wonders that lie beyond.
 
 19. It's absolutely okay to make a mistake. Not owning up to it, is not okay. Accept your mistakes gracefully.
 
 20. Trust actions, not words. Believe how people treat you, not what they say. 
 
 21. Parents are not sacrificing machines. They have a life of their own. Don't let them make sacrifices for you all the time only because they dont mind doing it.
 
 22. Let people go to hell. Well, not literally. When you find yourselves wondering what will people think, let them go to hell. Your own happiness over anybody's judgement anyday, that is of course, if youre not going to hurt anyone in the process.
 
 23. Credit card is evil, truly, maliciously, scarily evil. Stay the hell away form it. No matter how much you think you can have a control over it, you'll end up in its control pedalling a cycle of debt.
 
 24. Be humble. No matter where you reach or what you achieve, always stay in touch with your roots.
 
 25. Ignorance may be bliss to you, but your ignorance shouldn't be a pain to someone else. Know the answers, seek the answers. Know!
 
 26. Give people their space, take your own space too. There's a reason why humans are not parasites. We coexist out of our will, for our own joy. Our own space in this coexistence, only makes the journey better. 
 
 27. You have only one life, and you have no idea for how long. So live fully, laugh madly, love whole heartedly. Just freakin live!

Dear Men…Thank you!

Just like we believe women must be celebrated everyday, not just on March 8, gentlemen that stand up to the term , must be appreciated too without looking at the calendar. Yes, the world is an unsafe place for women, and unfortunately half the reasons why it is so, comes from men. What makes me happy though, is that not all men are the same. Here's to the men, that believe both women and men stand together. Surrounded by several unspoken rules and norms, prejudices and judgement, women may not have it easy, but some true gentlemen make this ride worthwhile with their liberal thinking and supportive love. Here's to all such cool men out there.

Thank you for celebrating your daughter's birth, giving her the best of education. Thank you for not letting her think for once, that she can't be as good or better than the boys. Thank you for teaching her how to stand up for herself, without being scared. To stand up to the bullies, and punch them back if punched, instead of being a victim. Thank you for not chosing to save between her wedding and her higher education. Thank you for creating a world so normal for your daughter, that when she hears about inequalities in households, she finds it hard to believe that it actually happens, for equality is all she has seen at home. Thank you for setting examples for your son, and showing him how to treat a woman right.

Thank you, for not thinking cooking is a woman's job only. Thank you for not hesitating to make breakfast for her, while she packs your lunch. Thank you for surprising your wife with bed coffee. Thank you for taking over the household work sometimes, because you think it can be tiring for her to do it without a break. Thank you for taking turns to do the laundry. Thank you for washing the dishes when she's tired. Thank you for making equal efforts while parenting. Thank you for being a son to her parents, while she tries to be a daughter to yours. Thank you for being proud of her, when she crosses mile stones in her career and goes on to make other achievements.

Thank you for not freaking out, when she wants to give your wallet a break and pay on a date. Thank you for raising an eyebrow when they speak of dowry. Thank you for finding this tradition unfair. Thank you, for not believing in the obnoxious belief that the groom's side overpower the bride's in a wedding. Thank you for believing in consent, before and after marriage.

Thank you for protecting your sister, while believing she has the freedom to make her choices. Thank you for treating women right, because you have one back at home, and you wouldn’t want her to be treated wrong either.

Thank you for treating your daughter in law just the way you treat your son. Thank you for believing that he's bringing home a bride, not a maid. Thank you for cheering her on and making her comfortable in her new home. Thank you for not expecting her to give up on her dreams and life, just because she's married.

Thank you for applauding your colleague, instead of assuming she got promoted through unfair means. Thank you for not minding taking orders from your boss who's a woman, because you don't let gender dictate your commitment to work. Thank you for sharing her work at office when she wanted to leave early, without thinking she can't handle both work and home. Thank you for being instrumental in building a safe and comfortable work environment, where she doesn't feel unsafe or judged.

Thank you for raising your voice when you witness eve teasing. Thank you for blocking the view and staring back at the man, who doesn't have the best intentions in a crowded bus. Thank you for taking a no from a girl respectfully, instead of losing your mind over it and blaming her ego. Thank you for taking care of a drunk girl, and dropping her home safe. Thank you for not deciding the character of a girl by the clothes she wears. Thank you for knowing the difference between appreciating beauty and leering. Thank you for refusing to believe a rumor about a girl, because nobody in the group knows the truth, and it's none of their business anyway. Thank you for not believing all girls are the same, based on sad past experiences. Thank you for not calling someone a bitch, because she decides to live life on her own terms which may not necessarily be in line with your thought process.

Dear Men, the ones who make the women in their lives smile, thank you for keeping your minds and hearts open. Thank you for truly believing that we both have the same rights to live and love life. Thank you for having the courage to fight patriarchy, in your own little ways. Thank you for putting in efforts, making us believe there may be bad men in the world, but there are great ones too! You may not be changing the world, but you sure are marking the beginning of a fair, just world.

Let’s teach our sons better

I am a feminist. No, I don't hate men and I don’t think women are superior to men. I'm not against women dressing up and looking good. You won't find me protesting against beauty pageants because it objectifies women, just as you won't find me talking against men's pageants either. I'm a firm believer in people holding the freedom to make their own choices. I believe women and men are equal, none lesser or greater than the other and that's why I sigh every time I see the need for women to protect themselves. I'm not saying violence and harassment against men dont exist. It sure does, and is sadly often hidden behind the tough exterior men are forced to put up. Being a woman though, I find myself better equipped to speak about us.

They say you can't change the world in a day. I say you can at least give it a try. I wake up every morning to news of dowry deaths and sexual harassment against women. Candle light marches happen, debates on news channels raking TRPs happen. We contemplate the alarming need for attention to the issue at large, point fingers, sympathize and move on eventually, only to find similar news in the papers again. Sure, we can't all stop our lives with an incident and be stuck with it. We can however, add a drop in the ocean of change that's been waiting to take form. Big changes begin with the smallest steps. What we teach our young ones today, will help create a better world tomorrow.

To build a world where our daughters don't need saving, let’s teach our sons better. When we talk of the length of a girl's skirt or the depth of her neckline, let’s teach our sons that it doesn't define her character. Let’s teach them, that it's what a person is and does that make her, not what she wears. If clothes defined character, we could all buy some in the stores for a price, but it doesn't. The clothes we wear are forms of our expression of self, not the scale against which our character be judged. Let’s teach our sons, that when a woman says no, she simply means no. Let’s teach them to give women the freedom of their choice. Let's teach them to respect their opinion. There are many men out there, who make their own interpretations of a woman's behavior. Let's teach our sons better. Let's teach them that a girl being being friendly, isn't giving hints. She doesn't become a bitch when she rejects his proposal. A woman with a drink and smoke in her hand, is as good or bad as a man doing the same. A woman who chooses to live life her way, is doing what exactly the men are doing, living the same life that they were given too. Let’s teach our sons that raising hand on a woman doesn’t depict strength, it’s the extreme opposite instead. When they grow up into fine young men, let's teach them the difference between complimenting and catcalling. Let's teach them the difference between pursuing and harassing. Let's teach them the difference between assuming what a woman wants and asking what she does. When your son sees his mother in he kitchen, let him know that she does it out of love and choice, and that there's no shame in him sharing the load when he grows up. Let’s teach our sons that women don't belong in the kitchen, they choose to go there, just like they can too. Let's teach our sons to give women the freedom to make friends irrespective of gender, without being judged. Let's teach our sons to stand up for the girls they know, when they hear rumours from jilted lovers and rejected suitors. Beauty is only skin deep. Let her beauty not be limited to how skinny or curvy she is. Teach them to look for the beauty within. Let's teach them that it's not okay to assume women are the weaker sex.

Let’s create more open minds and bigger hearts. Let’s teach them to help build a world where both sons and daughters have the same freedom to make the most of their lives.

Kudos to all the amazing parents who've done, and been doing this in their own little ways. You, are making this world a better place. Let’s build a world where our sons are brought up so well, that our daughters aren't asked to come back home before it gets dark, because it's not safe out there.

Choose happiness

Choose happiness! Every day, every moment. Even on days you feel like you don't deserve it, on days that you wonder if it even exists, on days that the world plots hard to take it away from you, choose happiness! Too often we undermine our right to be happy, convincing ourselves that the sorrow and pain we are put through, chose us. Refuse to accept anything that dulls your spirit. Choose happiness every day, no matter how difficult it seems. Why you ask? Because you're a wonderful being who deserves nothing, absolutely nothing less!

You grew up, didn't you?

You grew up, didn't you?

Sipping coffee by the window on a quiet evening, chosing to spend your time alone in peace, instead of making plans for a wild Saturday night, you grew up didn't you? You used to dread going out alone, but now you like taking yourself out on dates, going shopping by yourself. Oh, you have loved ones, you do, some amazing ones too, but you like to reserve sometime to spend with your own self sometimes. When did the epiphany happen? When you found yourself alone in a crowd of people you think are your friends, but don't connect with anymore? When you craved to get to know yourself better in the middle of a busy day? When you found yourselves laughing with somebody in a social setting but couldn't convince yourself it was indeed that funny?

From jumping in puddles to hiding under an umbrella, you grew up slowly, didn't you? From crying over bruised knees to healing your own broken dreams, you transitioned into a grown up quietly. From lamenting a glass of milk because it didn't taste good, to gulping shots of bitter alcohol one after the other, you grew up! You would never talk to people you didn't like, making faces at them sometimes. You smile at those kinds now, putting on an extra wide fake smile, being nice to them, to survive in a world where it's not how you feel that matters, its how you deal with those feelings, that does.

When a hundred rupee note could last for months, and elated you to no end, did you ever imagine you'd grow up to earn several thousands yet not be satisfied? You made castles out of cardboard boxes, snuggled with a blanket inside empty ones. Now all you're told is to think out of the box. You now silence the child in you that wonders why you'd want to think outside a box that has an incredible world of its own inside. You'd fall asleep on the sofa, and end up waking up on your bed tucked inside a blanket the next morning. Do you miss those days when you count sheep to fall asleep now? From laughing out loud playing with mud getting yourself dirty, to getting your mind overworked on codes in a cubicle, you grew up, didn't you? Instant noodles were reserved for special days when you were given the permission to eat unhealthy, once a while. Funny how that luxury turned into a survival tool now. You'd flaunt the same new dress for days, and now you stand in front of your wardrobe frustrated, having 'nothing' to wear. From crying on your birthday over a cake that smudged on the sides of the box, to getting your face smashed into the cake now, from chasing bubbles to living in one, you grew up and how! You couldn't wait to grow up when you were younger. You laughed at people who said you will miss your childhood when you grow up. “Too philosophical they try to sound” you thought. Look at you now, giving the same advise to the little ones around you.

Festivals that you wished to celebrate once, you look forward to them today, to take long leaves and run away from routine. From fretting over the slightest loss, to handling life's surprises; shocks more often, you grew up! Remember when you used to look at people with bling and money and think that's success. You ignore them now and take the ones with inner peace and happiness as your role models. You grew up didn't you? When you realised money is important, but absolutely worthless without happiness? From being worried by your elders, to now worrying about them, you grew up. With time, your friends got less in number, but the bond you share with the ones who stay only got deeper. From hoping to find someone to fall in love with, to endlessly in love with your own self, from reading epic stories, to writing your own ones, from learning about life, to mastering the one you have, you've come a long way.

No matter how crazy and confused it looks sometimes, you wouldn't have it any other way, would you? When you chose to live this wonderful life with a smile, no matter how challenging it seems, you grew up didn't you?