A Woman's Letter To The Indian Society

Dear Society,

How are you doing? I am assuming, not quite well, since every time I hear of you, I hear you being too concerned about other's business. That should be a tough job indeed, to keep a track of people's lives without being invited to do so. Mom says, "we live in a society and are expected to behave in a certain way". I couldn't agree more, but somehow I sense more of fear in that sentence, than inbuilt responsibility of self conduct.

Frankly, I would love to see a world where people get to live their own lives and do things simply because they want to do it, or its the right thing to do, and not because "you" think it is the right thing to do. So dear society, could you please define the word "right" for me? I am having a tough time understanding the same, because what seems right to some part of your section, does not seem so to the other part. Lets hover over some common things just to clear this out, shall we?

You say, its not a good thing for a woman to be hanging out late in the night. So dear society, does the time of the day when a woman hangs out, decide the nature of her character? I somehow fail to understand the connection. I've often heard the term "Women shouldn't hang out late in the night because it's not safe". Now my question is, who makes it unsafe for them? I am assuming your answer will be those men who seem to have no respect for women. Then shouldn't the rule be the other way round, that "Men who dont respect women, and cannot act like civilised human beings should stay at home"?

Also, I often see you being judgmental about us, depending on the clothes we wear. May I please take the liberty of questioning how is it that how we chose to cover our own bodies, effect your perception about us? I have never seen you giving a second look to "men in western or shorter clothes" but somehow when it comes to us women, you don't tend to approve much of it. Dear society, why is it so difficult for you to understand that women chose what to wear depending on their idea of fashion and comfort and nothing more. If clothes were a reflection of character, all women in Indian wear would be saints and all the ones in western wear would be just the opposite. But you and I both know, that' s not true. We are old enough to have witnessed history where a woman in Indian wear has killed the prime minister of the same country, where years later women in skirts and shorts have gone ahead to bring olympic medals to the country. I personally know of home breakers dressed up in Indian wear and dignified responsible women in shorts. When is it that you are going to ask men, to learn to respect a woman for what she is and not what she wears? Shouldn't you be teaching some men ( I repeat "some men", I am not generalising like you do) that women dont "ask for it" by the clothes they wear, but it is their own dirty minds that is interpreting. Oh, by the way, women completely covered from head to toe will also complain about being inappropriately stared at or dealt with. So who is at fault here? When a woman is wearing something, she is simply wearing it because she wants to wear it. Shouldn't you move beyond your concept of judging women by the clothes they wear, by now?

Now, moving over to another topic that I need an answer to. Why do you seem to have  a problem with us bonding with men who are not our husband/boyfriend, father or brother. Aren't you old enough to understand that a man and a woman can just be friends too. A woman hangs out with a friend, and you jump out of your seat to judge her. May i know why? While we truly understand the lines to be drawn with every different relationship, why is it that you don't draw a line to your imaginations and judgement?  We women, are often matured enough to know our limits and lines, but where will you draw the line dear society? When will you learn to let a woman breathe and live her life and not judge her knowing nothing about the shoes she is in.

Oh! And then there seems to be this strange obsession you have with unmarried women who have crossed a certain age. As if living alone, facing your hypocrisy is not enough, you seem to be ruthlessly interested in their lives. Shouldn't you be applauding them for their strength to be living life on their own? Or may be it is your fault, that you could not raise men who were precious enough to deserve such strong wonderful women. Then with what right do you seem so interested in when will they get married? Dear society, grow up and give them the freedom to chose what they want for themselves.

I could go on and on about this, but I will stop here. Because a voice echoes in my head "No matter what you do or what you don't, the society will talk". No matter how many lines we draw or how many sacrifices we make, you still will tend to judge us. So dear society, please save this letter and go through it every time someone among you raises a finger on a woman. We may not be right always, but we aren't wrong always either!

Regards,
A woman!

The joy of little things :)

I smile to myself as I type this, as I think of all the little things that make me happy, from bike rides, to rain to spending quality time with friends to random surprises that I give or get. After a certain age, we tend to get so busy searching for the meaning of life or dealing with complex situations, we tend to ignore the little things that life has to offer.

For once stop worrying about your financial planning for the month and spend that change in your wallet in buying chocolates for random kids that you may end up meeting on the road. Go get drenched in the rain instead of complaining about the weather. Smile at a stranger, try being nice to the autowala (going by experience a little nice behaviour might even work in your favour while trying to bargain). Dont crib about how bad your day has been at work, instead roll down the cab's window and let the wind caress your face and tell you "its okay if the day was bad, the best part about it, is that its over now". Instead of breaking your head over what high priced fancy gifts to buy, try surprising your guy or girl by ending up meeting them when they least expected to see you, what could be more precious than you to them after all? ;) Let petrol prices reach the sky, chose another day to crib about the government but for now, ditch that car and try walking after sunset for some time. Laugh at the silliest joke. Go meet a friend who is always busy, and cherish the little time you get to spend together instead of cribbing about how you did not get enough time. Look at your pet and feel blessed to be selflessly loved by a being (cat owners this is not for you :P ), let a bad sunny day be your excuse for bunking office and jumping into a pool. Buy yourself some flowers, who else can better pamper you than your own self? Stare at the sky and play that game of imagining the cloud turning into various shapes. Go ride a kid's bicycle and fall, ride again and fall again!

They say, you dont ever grow up, you just learn to act in public. While that may or may not be completely true, we can always carry forward the joy of finding happiness in little things like we used to when homework was the only worry in life. Instead of planning for a happier future which will have big things to offer, try finding joy in the little things in present.

There is just so much that life has to offer! When you are too busy trying to find happiness, life is sending you joy in various ways, big and small. Happiness isn't a treasure that u got to go search for, its more like a state of mind. Something that lies within. Even in your worse days, the very fact that you are alive goes on to show that you are alive to see a better life ahead. So hold your head up high and welcome the little things life sends your way, smile at life, and watch how it smiles back at you!

Go ahead! Take that step!

How often have you delayed a step, an action that you wanted to take? "I will do this tomorrow", "Just not in a mood to do it today", "What difference will it make if I do it later and not today". Do these words sound familiar? To me it does, and you would be lying to yourself, if you say it doesnt to  you. For we all are humans, and often find ourselves in places that are not very comfortable to be in. It could be dealing with a failed promise to yourself that you will start making efforts to lose that holiday weight, or QUIT smoking AGAIN (pun intended), wanting to move out of a painful relationship, or just the opposite that is wanting to express your love to someone yet not being able to, letting someone know how you feel, or be it an old hobby that you want to get back to. We often have the tendency of getting too comfortable in our comfort levels, so much, that we often stop ourselves from taking that step that we know is going to make us happy.

 It feels nice to stay in your comfort zone, even if it means having to deal with feelings of guilt, laziness, pain, confusion, curiosity because at the end of the day you have a cushion to fall back to. There always seems to be something that pulls you back when you think of taking a big step; could be laziness, or the fear of the unknown, the fear of the future or just plain fear of taking a risk. But like a recent picture that I saw on FB says, Happiness does not come to those who wait but to those who work their ass off for it! Nothing in this world is permanent. For all you know you may not be alive the very next moment. Tomorrow may be a fancy word to convince yourself  but you never know if tomorrow is a day that you will live to see. The step that you take tomorrow will not have the same effect that it will have today. You are losing your precious day planning about something that you say you will do. Stop the whole planning and just go do it! Go tell that person you are madly n love with them, start gymming if you want a healthier body, get out of that relationship if you cant take the pain anymore, throw that cigarette butt forever and let it be the last forever you have promised yourself, go for the vacation that you have been delaying, go take a break, start that hobby again before it seems like an aliens hobby and not yours. There are going to be a thousand voices in your head that will tell you to stay back in your comfort zone, there will be people to give you  the wrong advise, there will be excuses you would want to make, but move over these trivial things that are stopping you from taking that step. Go ahead! Take that step! Its going to be wonderful, and if it is not, its going to be  worth the effort. You will never know if you dont try :)